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Monday, December 14, 2009

“Vodka tastes better than blood”

“impaling loathsome lords on pitchforks is a time-honored tradition”

“whenever justice is served there is never enough beer”

The prospect of political upheaval will be higher in Ukraine over the next two months, with voters going to the polls unconvinced about any of the eighteen ladies and gentlemen vying for the presidency. With no clear leader, a key twenty percent of likely voters were still undecided in late November.
Ukrainian author Gustav Vodichka has weighed in on the imminent elections with an alarming view of another “revolution” should it occur. These elections will likely be fought in the courts, but if Ukrainians are p-o-ed to the point Vodichka says, then watch out! A “we won’t be fooled again” revolution will make the revolt of 2004 look like a casual afternoon stroll through the orange grove.
Gustav Vodichka (a pen name that sounds like “thick water” or “thick little vodka”) pointed to the potential of things turning ugly in his article “Horizon of vengeance” (Ukrayinska Pravda, Dec. 8) translated below.
Vodichka is an author worth listening to: in his pre-Orange Revolution work “Country of dreaming angels” he pinpointed Ukrainians as being more Gandhi than Guevara. Today, he sees a potential for things turning ugly in the short term if full-scale revolution occurs.

Horizon of vengeance

When Ukraine’s “nobles” start wagging their tongues it feels like they should all be swinging from a noose.

The destruction of the Ukrainian ruling class is a popular erotic fantasy: one interesting to fall asleep with, but frightening to wake up to.

Naturally, our conscience bothers us. It’s a sin to desire thy neighbor’s death. It’s hard to accept the fact that these people have long grown distant from us. But there is no difference between those who rule today and the ferocious enemy that once invaded the Fatherland.

When the Germans trampled Ukraine, they were well-groomed, wealthy, beautiful, adroit, loved their children and parents, worshipped Germany and sought to seize Ukraine’s natural resources. Just like our oligarchs! They too are well-groomed, wealthy, beautiful, adroit, love their children and parents and worship Germany and similar vacation destinations. They have succeeded in seizing Ukraine’s natural resources, turned the population into slaves, covered the country with ruins and are squeezing the last life-juices out of everything still breathing.

It’s the same as the days of [Nazi] occupation: foreign cars speed along streets, new cafes, restaurants and flea markets are opened. They let us pray to God, stage sporting events, concerts and go the opera theater… Only millions of people have disappeared somewhere and are not coming back…

Credit is due: everything the mighty German machine could not do was easily accomplished by the sniveling local. The same people with whom we once slurped common bowls of soup at pioneer [Communist youth] camp.

Did these select citizens spend their childhoods dreaming about “picking pockets” and publicly pissing on peoples’ heads? Of course not!

During the Nuremberg trials it came to light that the accused – for whom the gallows wept – were exemplary family men and law-abiding patriots. Perhaps that is a social paradox or a quirk of human nature. But there is a difference between a criminal and a criminal society.

Criminals can join forces or be put into prison. A criminal society, on the other hand, is often comprised of “decent” people who can only “be put” into parliament.

Why break the law when you can write criminal ones?

It’s hard to believe that the Ukrainian political “elite” are not all just thieves, fraudsters, sadists, looters, pedophiles and other types of maniacs. There are those that genuinely love their country. When they weep in public and say that they pain for Ukraine – it’s the real truth.

But it’s the same kind of pain a family “suffers” when the favorite calf is slaughtered: everyone eats in silence, weeping, stuff their faces with fresh kill. Weeping and eating… Mourning while stuffing their faces

A scene truly worth sympathetic condolences.

They all have a cherished dream or burning passion. Someone wants a dacha by the ocean, another a pile of money, a third likes to give it his all on stage and become the “national hero”… Nothing grossly amoral, except that panty hose and knick knacks mysteriously disappear from children’s changing rooms [in Crimea – SB] …

That’s the nature of the criminal society: there is theft but no thieves.

In contrast to masses of mob-mentality humans who don’t know what they’re doing, the criminal society is an intelligent organism. Everyone knows what she or he is doing and also knows the consequences of their actions beforehand. There are no “accidental” people. Everyone contributes their chunk of the action silently, according to unwritten rules. It’s the safest way of committing a felony. Everything is allowed. Personal profit exists but personal responsibility does not. Thus either everybody is guilty, or nobody is.

In fighting cancer it’s naïve to target individual cells. But cutting out the entire tumor is a difficult task. Sharp steel instruments are required. And not everyone has the resolve to conduct such an operation…

Ukraine’s ruling class is a criminal society that cannot be put behind bars. And that’s too bad.

Where legal norms don’t work, historical ones will. Where revolution is always unfair. Where peoples’ tribunals do not require paperwork to make decisions. Where party lists turn into execution lists. Where it makes no sense to cry “I never stole a cent”… If you sat beside someone who did, that means you personally blessed the legality of everything that went on. It’ll be pointless to argue “but you yourselves elected us!” That’ll be like saying that the Jews went to Babyn Yar on their volition.

In life many things happen that are “against the rules.” When a bayonet spears a well-to-do gentleman or lady square through their expensive linens and checkbooks that evokes surprise. As if a proud peacock, although magnificent, is not just another bird. One that can be plucked and cooked for supper. Today he’s puffing up his cheeks, tomorrow: clucking for mercy. It must be frightening to die sitting on a golden toilet seat…

Ukrainians are wise people. We understand that vodka tastes better than blood. We don’t want to run along Khreshchatyk [street] chopping up oligarchs. It’s better to fall sleep on a crate of bullets in the garden. It’s pleasant to watch the enemies of the fatherland strangle one another in our dreams.

But they’re not letting us fall asleep!

A collective of squanders is beleaguering the entire nation. They shove their riches under our nose: “Envy us! We’re drowning in bird’s milk [the crème de la crème]! We’re living the good life purely by chance! Envy us! The right to shit in and on the public is not accessible to you. We took advantage of your old age and consumed your children’s resources! We devalued the fruits of your labor and knowledge! Your diplomas and military insignias are worth nothing! Our children and woman are laughing at you! What else do we need to do for you to explode?!”

We look away and wait… impaling loathsome lords on pitchforks is a time-honored tradition. Koliyivshchyna is our heroic epic. Haydamaky – our dear legend. Makhnovshchyna – spirit of national pride. The nation’s prophet tells us directly: sharpen the axes so the blood flows to the blue sea…

It’s clear that letting the band live will leave us with zero chances of progress. Our kids shouldn’t go to school if a lesson in morality is not included in the history being written today.

The horror is that people’s thirst for vengeance is uncontrollable. When the flames start burning, there’s no stopping them. The borders with the ruling class have eroded. There’s an oligarch in every village. Those who think themselves lords want peace. Those left out want justice.

And we know very well that whenever justice is served there is never enough beer. Making the choice is tormenting: beer or justice? Except history will have its way… More likely than not, we won’t be going for beers.

A criminal society cannot dissolve on its own. It cannot change or back away. Its habits are passed on by inheritance. It’s planning on living forever.

When a colony of parasites attacks a body doctors don’t argue for the rights of worms and larvae. There are no environmental concerns. Negotiating with ticks that are sucking blood is absurd – the concerned parties’ interests are slightly different…

Once the destruction of the ruling class ceases to be a folk dream and becomes a banal medical procedure, the most difficult part begins. We’ll have to start living healthy, constantly look after our self and take precautionary measures. And say “no” to many things.

Otherwise it’s pointless. If the nation’s body is ill then it will always be a feast for parasites.

They say that “social crisis” means that God is taking humanity to court.

Where God is judging men, lawyers won’t help….
See Russian language original:
Ukrainian language interview with Vodichka:

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